Finding Beauty in Life
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Inspiration
    • Media/Ministry
    • My Photos
  • Connect
  • My Books

Journeying THROUGH my thoughts

Copyright ©2020 Dr. Francemise Kingsberry.  All rights reserved.

Sometimes, It hurts...

5/14/2020

16 Comments

 
Sometimes, it hurts to remember. Today, I was reminded of two memories that occurred on this day, May 14th, years ago. 
​Both pictures reminded me of happier times, when my children were toddlers. I remember the day the first picture was taken. I was at a two-day workshop on race and equity. Hassan was on daddy-duty. He bravely took the kids to the local playground by himself. I couldn't believe he'd done this because I had never ventured alone to the park with the kids by myself. I remember feeling a little left out but also so happy to see my sweet babies listening to and enjoying each other's company. Kelyn’s smile was everything! I wondered what they were saying to each other.

In the second picture, taken a year later in 2017, I insisted that I wanted professional pictures for Mother’s Day and Hassan obliged. It was so hard to make our children smile at the same time and cooperate with the photographer. As you can see, the twins looked amused but didn’t smile. I am so glad we took pictures that year. Before Amira passed, I deleted pictures that I'd taken because I didn't like the way I looked in them. After she passed, I regretted doing that. I wished I had gotten over myself and my insecurities and kept those pictures.

Before Kelyn passed, I wanted her to take professional pictures. I discussed it with Hassan; I almost took her to get them without the rest of my family too. Unfortunately, due to the busyness of life, I failed to make it happen. I thought I had more time. The truth is life is short. Tomorrow really isn't promised. (Prov. 27:1)

What have you put off doing? It’s can be so easy to put off things you want to do even when you may feel a sense of urgency in your heart. You may even think there is more time.

Sometimes, it hurts to remember even when the memories also remind you of happier times. It's the dichotomy of life—joy and pain; laughter and sorrow; good times and bad ones. No matter what we feel, life keeps on going so we have to take time to feel even when it hurts.

Interestingly, my children can’t go to the playground due to stay at home orders/playgrounds being closed. Right now, cute pictures can't be taken on park benches. Most of all, their sister is no longer here. We sure do miss her! So much has changed in a short time. We are all adjusting.
Picture
As I reflect tonight, I promise to act when I feel urged to so. I will take more pictures and make more memories—beautiful ones that may one day cause me to laugh and cry at the same time. I will remember the past even when it hurts to do so. I will take time to feel...

What will you do more of as you grieve? Or as you live life in general? 
16 Comments
Bomi
5/14/2020 09:36:47 pm

Wow! Thank you for reminding us to seize every moment! Thank you! God bless you😃

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 07:45:11 am

Yes, we have to or we may miss out on beautiful moments! God bless you too! I love you, Bomi!

Reply
Ritta
5/15/2020 01:35:31 am

Thanks for sharing! I will stop over-planning, over-thinking and waiting for everything to be perfect before making a move!❤️

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 07:46:27 am

That’s good, Ritta! Nothing is ever perfect but we can’t let that stop us. Love you!

Reply
Shae
5/15/2020 05:26:03 am

Thank you for always being so vulnerable. I learn so much from your willingness to speak through your pain.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 07:47:23 am

Thank you, Shae! So glad to hear this! ❤️

Reply
Hassan Kingsberry link
5/15/2020 05:44:02 am

I have tried not to look at certain pictures, but your post made me not put it off any longer. I went back and looked at pics of Amira and our home in Youngsville. I saw pictures of all the kids in different parks and places and it made me cry. I think the ones that got me the most were the pictures of Kelyn from 2017 to this year. It really hurt. All I could do was thank God for keeping us through it all. It’s hard to give in to grief and let it roll, but you have to at times in order to process even the good and beautiful memories. Thanks for helping not put it off any longer. Keep writing and sharing and inspiring.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 07:50:59 am

Aww, my love!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, here. We need to process and find healing even when it hurts. So grateful for the many beautiful memories we have made as a family. Love you!

Reply
Alicia
5/15/2020 06:24:00 am

So, so true. Thank you for your sharing this. Grieving can be hard but it is good for healing. Memories can be sweet and painful but it doesn’t mean we should forget. Take hold of the present and enjoy it while it’s here. Love you❤️

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 03:30:48 pm

You are so right when you wrote, “Memories can be sweet and painful but it doesn’t mean we forget.” We must never forget. Love you too, my friend!

Reply
Patricia W.
5/15/2020 09:22:55 am

I spoke with my brother-in-law today. He expressed that he had been afraid to mention my husband during our conversations because he was not sure how it would affect me. I told him that I wanted to talk about him even though it might make me sad sometimes. But I want to know that he is remembered. I enjoy hearing people share the various remembrances of his life. It does let me know that he is not forgotten.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 10:57:59 am

Dear Patricia,
It is strange that death impacts so many people and yet is surrounded by fear. I’m glad you were able to share your feelings with your brother-in-law. I have such find memories if your husband. I saying to Hassan something he would always remind us of—that God is “all the while working!” Thank you for sharing with us. Love you!

Reply
Kimberly Hardy
5/15/2020 01:12:16 pm

Wow, this is so beautiful and profound.
May 14, 1988, 32 years ago I married my Knight. There are so many memories. Even though there are a lot of things that I wish I had done differently, there are many things that I would not change. When I find myself dwelling on the regrets I stop myself by praising God for the things that I do not regret. They give me peace, joy, courage, and strength. You are so right we have to find beauty in life.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/15/2020 03:35:15 pm

Dear Kim,
Happy Anniversary, again! You two are such an inspiration to us and we love y’all dearly! Praise is important. Thanks for sharing! ❤️

Reply
Shanitta
5/17/2020 10:27:49 am

Thank you so much for being strong enough to say this and for making me see things in a better light!

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
5/17/2020 01:14:41 pm

Thank you, Shanitta! I’m so glad to here this! ❤️

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    New Jersey Native. Proud Haitian-American. UNC-Chapel Hill  (First-Generation College) Graduate.  Double Tar Heel who obtained a Doctorate from NC State. Educator. Devoted Daughter and Sister.  Loving Wife and Mother.  Lover of People.  Photographer.  Poet. Home Chef. Singer.  Worshiper.  Preacher and Motivational Speaker.  Virtuous Woman.  I am who I am by the Grace of God.  ​

    Archives

    April 2022
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020

    Categories

    All
    Ashes
    Beauty
    Birthday
    Blogging
    Children
    Empathy
    Faith
    Fall
    Forgiveness
    Freedom
    Grief
    Guilt
    Home Decor
    Homeschool
    International Travel
    Joy
    Lessons
    Life
    Loss
    Moving
    Nature
    Pain
    Planting
    Positive Perspective
    Promises
    Reflection
    Waterfalls
    Writing

    Subscribe

    * indicates required
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Inspiration
    • Media/Ministry
    • My Photos
  • Connect
  • My Books