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Journeying THROUGH my thoughts

Copyright ©2020 Dr. Francemise Kingsberry.  All rights reserved.

1... 2... 3...

7/7/2020

10 Comments

 
Picture
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” James‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I am participating in an online bible study via blog and we are studying the book of James. In my response to the leader’s thought-provoking questions and discussion, I stated that, “I am stuck right there—trying to ‘count it all joy’ as I grieve.” You know what—that’s the truth. Many people have given me props because of the perceived strength that I have having gone through not one loss, but two...no wait—there were some miscarriages in there too...one too many losses to count. The notion of strength is an interesting one especially when I may not be feeling particularly strong. I know I have mentioned the obvious losses but in there, are losses of relationships and friendships too.

How am I making it? How can joy be paired with loss? Good questions! That’s what I’m figuring out. Honestly, I am learning to be present in my grief. I am learning to take life a day at a time; an hour at a time; a moment at a time; one breath at a time. If not, I find myself completely overwhelmed. I am learning how to make time for joy. I have intentionally made time to read for leisure again, to exercise, and to try things that make me happy; this may include doing nothing at times. I also lean heavily on God despite my hurt and pain believing that He will be amplified in my weakness to carry me when I can’t carry myself. I am learning to be vulnerable and to allow myself to rediscover who I am and what I am. I am learning how to count, I guess.

My joys are no longer measured by things and successes but by valuing my family and the time I have with people and making that time, quality. I am learning how to be grateful for the time I have had with my (deceased) loved ones and to relish in the fact that I have been loved. I am learning how to write with and through my tears, untold stories of shame and pain. Although I may struggle with whether people really want to hear about what I have to say especially in this season of grief, I am moved to write. So, I am making time to write.

Unfortunately, there is no set formula for overcoming grief; for I am not an expert despite my losses. All I know is that I have certainly had various trials; I am choosing to rest in my faith that God is preparing something great in me even in this season. I am trying to maintain a positive and godly perspective despite how I feel. I am fighting to LIVE because if I don’t, I won’t make it. I am counting. 1... 2... 3... Keeping it simple.

How are you counting it all joy?

*The beautiful card in the picture was lettered by Pamela Thompson. (www.peieagrace.com)

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10 Comments
Bomi Roberson link
7/8/2020 05:10:12 am

This!
Thank you for being vulnerable and helping us to remember to count it all Joy.

Love,
Bomi

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
7/8/2020 05:35:02 pm

Dear Bomi,
I love and appreciate you. Thank you.
Love,
Me-Ce

Reply
Tammy Iroku
7/8/2020 07:33:12 am

Thanks for sharing these beautiful thoughts. I love that this is right in line with a devo I just read this morning reminding me we can have joy even when we are afraid and don't have it all together.

I’m counting it all joy in many of the same ways as you...slowing down to do things I love like reading and singing (and sometimes nothing at all!) even if it’s just for a few moments a day - it makes a world of difference.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
7/8/2020 05:37:01 pm

Tammy!
That’s wonderful that this was a confirmation for you. We gotta take care of ourselves! Keep reading and singing, girl! Love you!
Me-Ce

Reply
Amy J.
7/8/2020 08:12:52 am

This transparency is so needed! Grief and joy fighting together....one breath at a time. Thanks for this. Love it!

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
7/8/2020 08:02:13 pm

Amy,
It’s so good to know that people understand. I love how you summed it up. Thank you! ❤️

Reply
Pamela link
7/8/2020 09:14:10 am

"I am learning how to count..." Francemise! That was such a powerfully simple, sober and sweet line. I praise God for the word of your testimony. Thank you for your vulnerability. I need to be more intentional about counting. Lately, I find that I "come by" my joy because I am so busy trying to get things done that I miss the miracles in the mundane of each day. It hasn't always been this way, so I'm taking your post as an invitation to spend some time in prayer, reflecting on where my mind has gone and, likely, how I've gotten into some self sufficiency/self righteous patterns, neglecting to check in with my Father, whose always got me, more fully than I can ever cover myself. Thank you, so much, for this.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
7/8/2020 08:26:17 pm

Pamela,
Thank you for sharing. It is so easy to overlook the mundane as you have said. I have had to focus in as a means of survival. May we all draw closer still to our loving God. ❤️

Reply
Kimberly Hardy
7/8/2020 09:40:00 pm

You my friend are living for eternity by allowing God's purpose to be fulfilled through you on earth. Your words come from the heart out of your real experiences. Lives will be changed forever because you choose to write...even through the pain of griefing.

Reply
Francemise Kingsberry
7/9/2020 07:51:17 pm

Kim,
Thank you for your encouragement to write. I pray that God will do just as you say. Love you!

Reply



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    New Jersey Native. Proud Haitian-American. UNC-Chapel Hill  (First-Generation College) Graduate.  Double Tar Heel who obtained a Doctorate from NC State. Educator. Devoted Daughter and Sister.  Loving Wife and Mother.  Lover of People.  Photographer.  Poet. Home Chef. Singer.  Worshiper.  Preacher and Motivational Speaker.  Virtuous Woman.  I am who I am by the Grace of God.  ​

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